Bane of the Holodeck Janitor
Hygenius de Oneiros was a low-level Enterprise crewmember. What was generally hidden from the public and most historical documentation of Starfleet was the existence of these low-level crewmembers. They did not train at the academy, nor did they possess advanced scientific knowledge and training. Instead they were recruited to perform the menial tasks that were still required in this advanced civilization.
The Enterprise was the most technologically advanced ship ever developed, but it still had moving parts and moving parts required upkeep. Door sensors would fail or their glide tracks would become dirty and that required maintenance. This was Hygenius’ job. His father was a maintenance tech as was his grandfather. His great, great, great grandfather had the priviledge of serving upon the Enterprise A as a maintenance tech under command of the legendary James T. Kirk. You could say he was born into it.
One of Hygenius’ jobs was to keep the holodecks clean. The imaging systems needed to be kept immaculately free of dirt, dust and all contaminants to perform properly. These cleanings were performed on a fairly regular basis, but occasionally an immediate cleaning was requested.
Cleaning requests were usually made after physically demanding programs had been run. Although the holographic images and all their associated artifacts disappeared upon program termination, organic artifacts such as sweat would remain. These needed to be removed to keep the holodeck functioning properly.
Hygenius had just finished his duty shift and entered Ten Forward. The maintenance tech team he was assigned to usually gathered here after shift to gripe and joke about their day. There were already a couple team members at their normal table so Hygenius bellied up to the bar and motioned for Guinan.
As Guinan approached him she noticed the look of disgust on his face.
“Rough day?” she asked and gave him that Mona Lisa smile she was famous for.
“You have no idea”, he said. “Can I get a Zombie?”
“Oh, I see”, she said, “Shall I bring it to your table?”
“No, I’ll take it here.”
Guinan had seen this before. It meant they would be having a griping session and didn’t want her to overhear anything as she brought drinks to the table. “Of course. One moment.”
As Hygenius waited he turned to look at his table. Gunta and Shalice were still there and he motioned to get their attention. Shalice noticed him then touched Gunta’s hand motioning his way with her head. When Gunta turned to look, Hygenius took his finger and stuck it in his mouth giving the gagging sign. Shalice laughed and motioned him over. He lifted one finger in the air and turned back to the bar where Guinan was returning with his Zombie.
“Thanks Guinan, keep my tab open,” he said as he walked away.
“Sure”, she replied and watched him join his friends.
Shalice jumped up as he approached and moved to the chair next to Gunta. She motioned for him to sit in the chair she just vacated.
“So, what’s that all about?” she asked, clearly anticipating the official start of their post-work festivities.
“Holodeck cleaning request”, he said with palpable disgust.
“Ugh. Anonymous?” she asked. Most of the time the requestor’s identity was included in the request but occasionally that ID was wiped leaving the request as anonymous. Anonymous requests were generally considered the worst jobs on the ship.
“Anonymous”, he replied and sucked down half his Zombie to reinforce his piteous countenance.
Gunta chuckled. “Let me guess, Holodeck 17?”
Hygenius looked at Gunta and scowled. At that Gunta’s chuckle became a full-fledged belly laugh.
Shalice pushed Gunta. “Stop that” she scolded. “What is that, the third time the past five days?”, she asked.
Holodeck 17 was considered the red light district of the Enterprise. It was located in an area of the ship that consisted of crew quarters that were currently unoccupied. There was no activity near it so it provided discreet access.
“Gunta! There you are!”
They all turned to see Val and Simon walking towards the table.
“How was your day big guy?”, Val asked.
“Great”, Gunta replied. “Much better than Hyg’s!”
Val and Simon both looked around the table.
“What happened?”, Simon asked.
Before Hygenius could answer Gunta grabbed the opportunity. “Anonymous in Holodeck 17!”
“Ugh”, they both winced in disgust.
“What species?”, Simon pressed and they all looked at Hygenius in anticipation. But Hygenius was glaring at the door. They all turned to see the object of his obvious disgust.
“Gross”, Shalice cried.
“No fucking way!”, Gunta bemoaned.
“Hazardous duty there dude”, Simon commiserated as Val placed her hand over her mouth stifling her nausea.
Lt. Worf had just walked in.
